It's Quiet

Even when they went back to their own rooms to listen to music, do homework, or whatever, there was always some noise – usually just hints from the sub-woofers on their computer’s sound system, but nonetheless, noise. Several years ago, it decreased a little when the first one went away to college. But with a change in majors coupled with the decision to change schools – back to the Metroplex – things returned to normal.

A year and a half later, the second, although already in college, decided to change to one out of town. Again, the house began to become quieter. Then he announced last summer that he would probably stay in Lubbock this coming summer and either take some additional classes or work on an internship.

Last week saw the biggest change yet.

#1 son, having graduated from college a year earlier, has return to college to get a masters. With that, he moved out of the house and into an apartment near downtown with three other graduate students. When the second son returned to college three days later, the silence was deafening.

In some ways, I was looking forward to this time. Our boys, one fully financially independent, have become adults. They are able to deal with life without our constant input. While we will surely continue to provide our words of wisdom for some time, possibly forever, they require it less and less, and have the right to take it or leave it as they choose.

I somehow thought this time would not affect me like so many who make reference to “empty nest syndrome,” but I was at least a little wrong. With their absence from the house comes a realization that I am beginning to retire from active parenthood. In the professional world, they say that you should never retire “from” work, but rather retire “to” something else. Those that miss this advice have much harder time in retirement.

The same can be said for this change of life. We often don’t think about what is beyond it as much because it usually happens while we are still in the midst of our productive work years. But even though so many other things remain the same, there is a hole in our life. It needs to be replaced.

I don’t have the answer yet, just the realization that it’s quiet.